My struggle expressed in this entry has come to a tragic end (for now). How? It’s all summed up in this email I sent to my editor:

“So sorry for bugging you again! I am not so close to figuring out an alternative plot, it seems. And the more I try to figure it out, the more I realize that I’m just not into the story right now. I feel so detached. I don’t feel what my characters are feelings–and I can’t write if I don’t feel this. So, at worst case, I’m going to take a break and work on the previous twenty-something chapters you edited for me. And perhaps, while I do this, I’ll get the flow of the story better. Because I’ve been working chapter by chapter I don’t have steady storyline of what’s going on in my mind. It’s like I’ve been watching a few minutes of a movie, taking a weeklong break from it, then returning to watch the next few minutes, only to take another weeklong break. So yah, if I’m not struck by lightning inspiration, I’m going to focus on the first half of the story instead. Then, maybe next month, if I’m done editing by then, I’ll work on the last eight-ish chapter. The last chapters are really important, I know, as it is what determines what sort of impression the book will leave the readers with. So I don’t want to rush this (as I most definitely have been trying to do, and evidence of that can be found in the emails I’ve flooded your account with). Alright. I feel a bit better now. For now I’m going to focus on revising the chapters of TRC you edited, the issues in the first half of TRC Jenny pointed out, living, breathing, eating and reading M&B *

Author’s Note: *M&B is the abbreviation for Moth and Butterflies which my editor, Val-rae Christensen, wrote. It’s a literary masterpiece I tell you. I admire her so much, because she’s polished this manuscript of hers to the point that it now sparkles, but she always ends up finding something to fix. Well, I guess until it’s published, there will always be room for improvement. Anyway, Val is the next Dickens.