The Insecurity and Anxiety of Debut Season
Hello friends!
We're now FOUR months away from the publication of The Silence of Bones. From what I hear, the three-months mark leading up to a book's publication is when things get a bit busy. I don't know how, but that's what people keep telling me, and I bet it has something to do with preparing for the debut AND working on a second book 😱.
Oh, and some exciting news! Sometime in January is when Listening Library/Penguin Random House will get the ball rolling for the production of TSOB's audiobook edition. I am so, so excited for this, and so curious as to who the voice actress for my heroine, Seol, will be!
But besides book-related news, I'm currently in Korea. My husband and I wanted to visit my parents to introduce them to their granddaughter, Johanna a.k.a Baby Jo! They absolutely adore her. They kiss her toes and cheeks and hands every morning, and sing to her as well. Baby Jo gets so delighted by them that her smiles light up the entire house.
So the thought of her returning back to Canada and growing up without her grandparents left me preeeetty sad. But then I read this article about the power of technology to create quality relationships, and it really helped relieve some of the sadness, knowing that a meaningful relationship can still be developed between a child and her "digital" grandparents. So I've decided that once I'm back in Canada, I'm really going commit to video-calling my parents more often when Baby Jo wakes up in the morning.
I hope that makes a difference :D
I never want to force a relationship on her. So I hope she'll grow up to be someone who'll call her grandparents on her own, and not consider it a burden :D
On to a lighter topic: I went on a research trip for Book 2 to Jeju Island and had SUCH an amazing time. I got to see how lush green nature was even in December, I saw my book come to life as I studied how traditional villages in Jeju looked like, and I had the privilege of meeting 'hanyeo' women (amazing and fierce women whose tradition is on the brink of extinction). If you'd like to learn more about them, you can go read my post on Instagram.
Also, during my stay here, I bought way too many things in Korea that remind me of Joseon Dynasty-era Korea. So I decided to do a giveaway! If you're interested in entering, scroll down to the bottom.
Debut Year: Insecurity and Anxiety
Debut year is the year I've always dreamed of: to be a published author. And yet this year isn't quite going the way I imagined it would.
I imagined I'd finally feel confident in myself, both as an individual and as a creative since I'd finally accomplished the dream I had spent years pursuing--to be a published author!
But now I'm four months away from publication, and debut year is feeling more and more like high school all over again, with talks of who is popular and who is not. The “most anticipated YA debuts of 2020” posts and tweets surface, and I scan the list. Sometimes I do and I feel like I'm on top of the world, but other times I don't and my heart shrivels a bit.
This popularity contest makes me forget who I am and I begin measuring my worth by the number of times my book gets mentioned on social media.
And you know what?
I remember feeling the EXACT. SAME. WAY when I was querying. I measured my worth by the number of full requests I received from agents. And when I landed an agent? I measured my worth by the number of interests my book garnered.
This story about debut anxiety and insecurity is not a new story. What I’m struggling with right now is the same struggle I had when I first pursued this dream to become an author. The only difference is that it’s no longer one person—an agent—that I’m longing to receive affirmation from. It’s from thousands of readers, it’s from the big book industry trade journals, it’s from the powers that be in New York City. And it goes on and on, the list of things I now think I require to feel less like an imposter. Honestly, no amount of recognition will cure our insecurity or discontent.
And so I tell myself the words I clung to when I was querying:
Remember who you are, remember why you write, and remember to be grateful for the things you already have.
Debut year has been quite humbling, always reminding me that neither my accomplishments nor my failures define me. It's been teaching me how to celebrate with other authors even when I might have reasons to envy them. It has also been encouraging me to remember the humble origin story of my desire to publish books: it was never for the fame and fortune, but for the sheer joy of getting to share a slice of my imagination with others.
So I keep having to tell myself these days that writing books is not a competition. Each book is unique, each book will find a home with different readers :)
Event News
Thursday, January 23, 2020
Winter Institute 2020
I'll be in Baltimore, USA, to be part of the Indies Introduce Presentation! Turns out this is going to be a mini "work" vacation for me. I thought I'd be traveling with my baby (and husband to help me out) but my in-laws offered to babysit.
Thursday, January 30, 2020
OLA Super Conference
This is going to be an event close to home (yaaay) at the Metro Toronto Convention center, where I'll be signing ARCs for educators and librarians.
I'll be giving away to (1) winner:
* A personal note from me.
* A bookmark.
* One pack of Traditional Korean stickers.
* Tattoo of the Korean flag.
* Bullet journal tape of Traditional Korean items.
* A postcard of Chunhyang and Mongryong (a couple from a traditional Korean love story).
To enter, simply reply to this email! The winner will be chosen on December 27th.
Thank you all for reading! I know this reflection piece was on the shorter side, but it was a tricky one to write. I wanted to be open and transparent, but I also didn't want to sound too whiny or ungrateful, because I am VERY grateful to everyone who has been supporting my book. So, out of respect, I kept this one on the shorter side :) Anyway, I need to get back to work on Book 2. I've been writing more scenes for this second book (12k worth of words so far!) while my editor is reviewing the draft form of it. We've already started discussing Book 2's title and cover art, so that's been exciting!
Bye for now!
Pre-order THE SILENCE OF BONES!
Barnes & Noble | Indiebound | Amazon | Books-A-Million | Powell's | Target
For my fellow Canadians:
Indigo | Amazon
For those who live outside of North America (BD ships worldwide):
Book Depository
